Guy-Pris

I'll start off with a pronunciation: "Guypris = guy - preez"

Today I wore pants that are 32" long. Or so they say... They seemed to fit fine initially, but after each washing I'm beginning to wonder. Now, I know I'm gaining weight constantly (although hopefully not at too rapid a rate) so things can begin to fit snug around the waist/thigh/buttocks area. In fact, that's how I know I've gained weight.

Have you noticed that you can look at yourself in the mirror for weeks and months and not really see a change? But people come up to you at church on Sunday, at the store, or at the family reunion and say "Boy, are you losing weight? Are you gaining weight? Have you gotten taller? Shorter? Wider? Slimmer???" I almost never see it. But I can definitely feel it. Oh yes...once the shirts don't fit quite the same. Or a sneeze really makes to feel the tightening waistline. Oh ho ho yes. I feel it. And so it was with these pants

Anyway, these pants are continually getting shorter. I really don't think I'm getting taller as I'm getting wider. These pants go halfway up my shins when I sit down. As my father used to say, I'm "ready for a flood...got my highwater pants on." Needless to say, it can be embarrassing in a group of people.

So one day, a few months back, when I was sitting down with a group of guys while wearing these pants, I confessed to them my "short"coming. The jokes went immediately to the ladies' fashinable Capri pants and someone thought of the Seinfeld episode where Kramer and George's dad invent the "Bro" aka "Mansiere". So we all had a good laugh about my "man-pris".

But I thought guypris was closer to capris, so I'm sticking with that. AND buying 34" long from now on....