Bipolarity ensues
Back from the reunion and I'm feeling two things. Well, a jumble of emotions, really, but mainly elation and depression. I'm guessing you can figure out the title already.
Let me say, there was a lot of love in the house on Saturday night and Sunday afternoon. It was wild to see everyone all grown up. But we thought we were pretty grown up back then! Most people are married and many have kids now. Everyone has their own life far beyond the walls of or school years ago. Most of the people went through Junior High with me, so I had seen these kids every day of my life for 6 years (minus summers). Then we all split up and came back together 10 years later. That's insanity.
We all had to wear nametags and everyone felt sheepish shaking someone's hand while simultaneously trying to read the name on their chest. That part kind of stunk. I was really good with names in school! I even tried to study the yearbook before getting there, but there were still some flubs on my part. Oops.
I may be speaking for myself, but I think if we could have frozen that night in time, I don't think anyone would want to leave. We had so little time that we could only say whether or not we were married, had kids, were working, lived nearby or far away. That was the extent of how much you could catch up with someone. Even as my wife and I were leaving the event we were still shaking hands and introducing ourselves/reconnecting.
Time flew that night and it left me with a greater and more terrible feeling than I thought. I realized that everyone has their own life just like I do. Going to the picnic yesterday was great because it gave us a chance to see everyone in action with their kids. Parenting mode. But then you had to think about getting home early enough to get the kids to bed, because school & work still went on the next day. We all took time out to say hi to the kids from 1994, but 2004 keeps right on chugging along.
So my longing to keep in touch with everyone is back. And I know I'm kidding myself if I think I'll be in constant communication with everyone, but I'd sure like to try again. I know there's more to the last 10 years than the 2 minutes I gave people and vice versa. Most of us can knock 4 years out by just saying "college" but that still leaves 6 whole years. I want to know! These were people who shaped part of what I am today.....i cannot toss them in the junk mail pile!
If I thought about it long and hard enough, I could cry a river. I could also smile for days. The 8 hours I spent stepping back 10 years does not make up for the 10 years "lost." And it's cruel to try and time travel like that when life is still going on.
On the way home last night we were listening to Switchfoot in the car. The song "This Is Your Life" came on and I leaned over to my wife and said, "This is exactly the song I don't need right now..." half joking/half serious. I mean, the lyrics go "Yesterday is a kid in the corner. Yesterday is dead and over. This is your life - are you who you want to be? Is it everything you dreamed that it would be when the world was younger and you had everything to lose?" Just rip my heart out and throw it on the floor why don't ya Jon Foreman! =)
In 1994 I had no thought about where I'd be in 2004, but I do know I love where I'm at. I have the family I've always wanted and life it great! God is good! Sometimes, though, I just wish I had my old friends back....
Let me say, there was a lot of love in the house on Saturday night and Sunday afternoon. It was wild to see everyone all grown up. But we thought we were pretty grown up back then! Most people are married and many have kids now. Everyone has their own life far beyond the walls of or school years ago. Most of the people went through Junior High with me, so I had seen these kids every day of my life for 6 years (minus summers). Then we all split up and came back together 10 years later. That's insanity.
We all had to wear nametags and everyone felt sheepish shaking someone's hand while simultaneously trying to read the name on their chest. That part kind of stunk. I was really good with names in school! I even tried to study the yearbook before getting there, but there were still some flubs on my part. Oops.
I may be speaking for myself, but I think if we could have frozen that night in time, I don't think anyone would want to leave. We had so little time that we could only say whether or not we were married, had kids, were working, lived nearby or far away. That was the extent of how much you could catch up with someone. Even as my wife and I were leaving the event we were still shaking hands and introducing ourselves/reconnecting.
Time flew that night and it left me with a greater and more terrible feeling than I thought. I realized that everyone has their own life just like I do. Going to the picnic yesterday was great because it gave us a chance to see everyone in action with their kids. Parenting mode. But then you had to think about getting home early enough to get the kids to bed, because school & work still went on the next day. We all took time out to say hi to the kids from 1994, but 2004 keeps right on chugging along.
So my longing to keep in touch with everyone is back. And I know I'm kidding myself if I think I'll be in constant communication with everyone, but I'd sure like to try again. I know there's more to the last 10 years than the 2 minutes I gave people and vice versa. Most of us can knock 4 years out by just saying "college" but that still leaves 6 whole years. I want to know! These were people who shaped part of what I am today.....i cannot toss them in the junk mail pile!
If I thought about it long and hard enough, I could cry a river. I could also smile for days. The 8 hours I spent stepping back 10 years does not make up for the 10 years "lost." And it's cruel to try and time travel like that when life is still going on.
On the way home last night we were listening to Switchfoot in the car. The song "This Is Your Life" came on and I leaned over to my wife and said, "This is exactly the song I don't need right now..." half joking/half serious. I mean, the lyrics go "Yesterday is a kid in the corner. Yesterday is dead and over. This is your life - are you who you want to be? Is it everything you dreamed that it would be when the world was younger and you had everything to lose?" Just rip my heart out and throw it on the floor why don't ya Jon Foreman! =)
In 1994 I had no thought about where I'd be in 2004, but I do know I love where I'm at. I have the family I've always wanted and life it great! God is good! Sometimes, though, I just wish I had my old friends back....
posted by Count Olaf | 8:59 AM
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